Looking Back Then Looing Forward

For three days I had been looking forward to playing tennis, but when the time came it didn't live up to my expectations. See I had been planning on playing with Jason after work yesterday. When I told Paymon about it he asked if he could play. I told him of course he could. My goal over the next four weeks is to hang out with Paymon as much as possible. With him being gone at the end of March I want to get in as much hang-out time as I can.
Well when we got out on the court my game was just not there. I was hitting the ball long, my serve was erratic, and I had no rhythm. When we play with three people, two players play for a game and the odd man sits out. The winner of the game stays on and the loser rotates out.
Well I pretty much hate playing that way. It doesn't allow you to work on your game, you barely get any exercise, and it keeps your rhythm off for the whole night. I have no desire to go out and try to play tennis if I'm not getting better or at least not getting some exercise. So my night was pretty much ruined.
I finally got frustrated and let Jason and Paymon play while I sat out and watched. But now that I look back on it I think a couple other issues were at play. First of all my back was hurting pretty badly. The last two times I played tennis my back didn't really bother me. This time it got to me fast and hit me hard. I think I was partially getting mad because of the pain and frustration of continuing to have to deal with back pain. The other reason I was frustrated is that I realized how much I need to start working on my diet and exercise. In coming posts I will write more about that.

Ok, now that I have that off my chest it's time to look forward. I will be thirty years old in 19 months. How fucking scarry is that? I know that it isn't the end of my life or anything. Most people have their best years between 30 and 40. Thats when a lot of people get married, a lot of people have kids, and a lot of people settle down. These are all great things. These are all thingss that I am looking forward to. But there are other things that I want to accomplish as well. And here are a few of those things that I want to do before I am 30:

1. I want to learn to play an instrument. I know I can't learn to be good on an instrument in just a year and a half, but I can get the basics. I have never even taken the initiative to try.

2. I want to take tennis lessons. At least one. But more likely a series of lessons.

3. I want to write a book. I know, everyone wants to write a book. I really want to write a book. And I know that I can do it in 19 months if I just set my mind to it and go for it.

I think that these are all things that I can accomplish. Any encouragement, help, or opportunity that you can provide me will be greatly appreciated.


here are some song lyrics that really sum up how I'm feelin'!

failure by design
by Brand New

This is a lesson in procrastination.
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.
Every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock.
(I ignore it and it ignores me too.)
What say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door.
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder.
I'm another day late and one year older.
It's failure by design.

OUT