Dawson's Orange County Housewives

Another meaningless teen show. Another attempt to relive the glory days of 90210 and Melrose Place. Me getting sucked in yet again...But I'm fighting it. I am.

Last night the CW premiered a new show called Hidden Palms. Basically it's The O.C. crossed with Dawson's Creek, with a touch of Desperate Housewives thrown in. Not a bad recipe for success in most cases.

The premise...smart kid Johnny (totally doesn't look like or act like a Johnny) is just like any other book worm teen, until the night that his dad comes home drunk, again, and blows his brains out right in front of him. So, Johnny goes off the deep-end, becomes a teenage alcoholic, and begins to throw his life away.

Slutty mom remarries and the new clan moves to picture perfect palm beach. (Here is the Ryan Atwood, fish-out-of water twist).

Johnny makes friends quickly. Here is the next O.C. connection; Johnny is played by Taylor somebody or other, best known as psycho-Marissa lovin' Oliver from The O.C. His first new friend and neighbor is the guy from The O.C. who played Zach, Seth's comic-book lovin' friend and eventual boyfriend of Summer.

Then throw in the sexy girl who holds a hint of mystery. Picture Marissa crossed with Peyton from One Tree Hill. Johnny is intrigued by her, she is intrigued by him, but nothing is as easy as it seems.

Hot mysterious girl has a history with Johnny's new neighbor friend. And it is an ugly history. So bad that they have a full on love-hate relationship...and whatever caused this rift also seems to have caused the death of one of their old friends, Eddie. What happened to Eddie seems to be the big hook for this 8 episode trial run.

Now, the Dawson's Creek...A shy, cute, book worm girl lives across the street. She's definitely Joey Potter. She even swipes her hair away behind her ear on a regular basis as she smiles out the side of her mouth.

The show was created by and is written by Dawson's mastermind Kevin Williamson. So the comparisons are likely to keep coming.

Like The O.C., parents seem to play a large role in the happenings. Each character, besides Greta (mysterious, pretty girl), has shady parents with lots of skeletons in the closet. These stories unfold in the background of the teen angst.

What I liked:

The main character Johnny is a good actor. He is likable and I developed a soft spot for him quickly. I was always a fan of Oliver on The O.C. so I hope that some of that snotty side gets to come out.

I like the other teen characters as well. Greta isn't quite as mysterious as they want her to be, but she's every bit as tortured as Peyton Sawyer.

The mystery is catchy, but it might end up being cliched. A real twist is needed to make me keep watching.

What I disliked:

The adults. All of them are one dimensional, cookie-cutter, stand-ups. They are all despicable people and none of them seem to have a redeeming quality. If they get too much air time it could be bad news.

And they are totally wasting the talents of Sharon Lawrence in the role of neighbor boy's plastic surgery lovin' mom. She is pure evil, I have no doubt. And hopefully she will be more adequately used as the show moves forward.

Pilot Grade: B-

Will I keep watching...ask me next week.

Creepies: Best Shows and Worst Shows

The best and worst of the television season. These rankings are based on the entire season and not representative of any one episode. Reality shows are not eligible. These are not my FAVORITE SHOWS, these are my opinions on the best series for the 2006-2007 season.
THE WORST:

05. Nip/Tuck
04. Two And A Half Men
03. Rules of Engagement
02. CSI: Miami
01. 24

THE BEST:
15. Desperate Housewives
14. Heroes
13. My Name Is Earl
12. Scrubs
11. Battlestar Galactica
10. Veronica Mars
09. Boston Legal
08. Grey's Anatomy
07. The Sopranos
06. The Office
05. The Shield
04. Brothers and Sisters
03. Lost
02. How I Met Your Mother
01. House

More Creepies: BEST NEW SHOW

This television season featured a slight change in the way the networks think people watch TV. They cut back on the serials...except for The Nine, Vanished, and Kidnapped. And instead they brought us amazing characters, stories with something more at stake than a single crime being solved, and flashes of why this is the golden era of television.

Here are my awards for Best New TV Shows

5. 30 Rock
I must admit that I don't really watch this show. I have seen 3 episodes. Two were very funny and one wasn't so much so. But any show that can make Alec Baldwin relevant again is going to gain some props from me. It was a toss-up between this show and Friday Night Lights for the 5th spot. I went with 30 Rock because FNL just got buried on...Friday Nights.

4. Jericho
I'm sad that this show was canceled. I feel like it's Invasion all over again. A great show with so much left to tell. Skeet Ulrich was the show's biggest surprise.

3. Ugly Betty
Colorful characters, lots of diversity, and plenty of funny. This show would have been the talk of the town if had been delivered a season earlier or held until mid-season this year. Instead it has gotten lost in the shuffle behind the top two shows on this list.

2. Heroes
A show that failed in consistency, but made up for it in originality and creativity. The BOOM at the end was more a fizzle, but Heroes is still going to live on as a great series.

1. Brothers and Sisters
A show that relies so heavily on political viewpoints and family strife is a hard sell. Add Sally Field, Ron Rifkin, and Calista Flockhart and you have the recipe for a great show. Rob Lowe added a breath of fresh air halfway through the season and then Emily VanCamp pushed it over the finish line. Watch this show if you aren't already!

THE CREEPIES...TV SEASON AWARDS

This is my favorite time of the year. My annual TV awards. Since I used to go by the moniker TV CREEP, we'll call the awards the Creepies. Awards will be given out for best acting, best actressing (yeah, I said it), best show for the entire season, best finale, and best new show. Since all of the finales haven't landed yet I will hold off on that until the last episode of The Sopranos, The Shield, and One Tree Hill have aired.

But we can get on with the rest.

Best Actress on TV Show, comedy or drama.

5. Sandra Oh (Yang)- Grey's Anatomy
The high strung intern has always been an intriguing character, but the closing minutes
of this season sealed the deal for her making the list.

4. Jaime Pressly (Joy)- My Name Is Earl
She might not have Oscar-caliber acting chops, but she can bring you to tears in a heartbeat with her perfect timing and zesty zing.

3. Edie Falco (Carmela)- The Sopranos
The first lady of the family business; we ache with her as she deals with the loss of friends
and the constant threat of losing her family.

2. Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliete)- Lost
Has any character been more polarizing? I've loved her, hated her, and loved her again. She is truly a mystery among mysteries.

1. Sally Field (Nora)- Brothers and Sisters
She is absolutely wonderful. Both stern in her political views and so lovable when it
comes to protecting her family. She deserves an Emmy, no doubt.

Honorable Mentions: Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) Calista Flockhart (Brothers and Sisters) Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) and Katherine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy)

Best Actor on a TV Show Comedy or Drama

5. Steve Carell (Michael) - The Office
He isn't close to likable. He's not even the funniest character. But he manages to bring you back each week for more cringe-worthy scenes.

4. Michael Chiklis (Vic)- The Shield
He's sooooo bad, but you still find a way to root for him. That takes skill.

3. William Shatner (Denny) - Boston Legal
Yeah, THAT William Shatner. Makes me laugh every week...I think it's the mad cow.

2. Walton Goggins (Shane)- The Shield
He's the new face of evil and no one has given a more tortured performance this season.

1. Hugh Laurie (House)- House
Mr. Cranky Pants is the best character on television right now.

Honorable Mentions: James Spader (Boston Legal) James Gandolfini (The Sopranos) Zack Braff (Scrubs) and Michael Emerson (Lost)


UP NEXT: BEST NEW SHOW

Music From Middle America

Here are 5 artists that you should be listening to right now. And if you're not, shame on you. Go over to their myspace pages and just take a listen. You won't be disappointed, I promise...

5. Rediscover from Toledo, Oh Sounds like a slightly more electronic Young Love

4. The Secret Handshake from Dallas, Tx Sounds like Hellogoodbye

3. The Only Children from Dallas, Tx Sounds like Kings Of Leon, only less pretentious

2. Fair To Midland from Dallas, Tx Sounds like a stripped down System of a Down

1. Gillian Welch from Nashville, Tn The folky female version of some dude named Oberst

NBA Sucks

I think that last night was the last straw for me and the NBA. Here are the 10 reasons why I am done with NBA (except for fantasy)...

10. The NBA playoff seeding format.
09. The lack of balance in power between teams and conferences
08. The Memphis Tigers are much more exciting
07. All of the fucking whiny babies
06. The NBA lottery format sucks. Shouldn't the league want bad teams to get better?
05. The Spurs and Pistons going to the finals...again
04. The Spurs and Pistons getting special treatment
03. Michael Jordan no longer plays
02. The micro-managing commish
01. Inconsistency of NBA Officials

LOST

The Lost finale is just a short time away and I can hardly contain myself. I am overcome with absolute anxiety and an anxious pitter in my stomach. Anyone else feel this way?
What do I expect...
-Atleast one MAJOR death. (I expect several deaths in the big battle, but atleast one major)
-Locke to return from the grave
-Desmond to reveal what he truly envisioned with his little flash!
-A twist that will change the show forever.

I really expect Lost to be different next year. And I think that this is a good thing. I bet either the setting will be different or the goal of the survivors will be different or I could even see them changing the way the flashbacks are used. Either way I hope that this episode can be a catalyst for the last 48 episodes...and I also hope that the first hour and 55 minutes aren't all boring and just the last 5 minutes are good. That would suck.

OUT!

Lists

5 Albums that I can STILL listen to all the way through...

5. Pearl Jam -Ten
4. Pete Yorn- Music For The Morning After
3. Lifehouse- No Name Face
2. Hootie and The Blowfish- Cracked Rearview
1. Matchbox Twenty- Yourself or Someone Like You


5 Movies That Need A Sequel...Even If It Would Make No Sense

5. Heat
4. V For Vendetta
3. Pulp Fiction
2. The Lost Boys
1. The Usual Suspects

The 5 People I Want To Meet In Heaven

5. Elvis Presley
4. James Dean
3. River Phoenix
2. Kurt Cobain
1. Jesus


The 5 People I Would Most Like To See With Their Own Talk Show
5. Dave Chapelle
4. J.J. Abrams
3. Mark Cuban
2. Mitch Fatel
1. Charles Barkley

Heroes, The Office

Heroes went out with more pop then boom. I kept hearing about the amazing finale and then what we got was more a water pistol fight than a nuclear explosion. Several characters lives hang in the balance. A new big bad is expected to emerge. And Sylar is still alive and kicking. Which means this season really only accomplished one thing...they stopped the bomb. Which I guess is good, but where does that leave us? Hiro is in 17th century Japan and from what I hear he will be there a while. Parkman is likely not dead, but D.L. is more than likely gone. Nikki/Jessica have merged and her character is now one dimensional and pretty boring. Molly has a pretty amazing gift and I'm sure she will be key in what happens next year. Peter and Nathan will likely be back too...For a show that had gained so much steam I feel like we took a giant step backwards tonight creatively. I'm not sure this show will be on my "must-see" list next year.

The Office meanwhile had everything you could want from a finale. Break-ups, firing, and a twist. While Ryan getting the corporate job might not be the biggest twist of the finale season it was certainly unexpected and likely will provide a very new point of view for everyone in Scranton. The temp is now the boss and Michael isn't going to like that very much. And Jim asking Pam out was a bit premature I guess, since Karen didn't get the job. So how will she handle it all. My guess, she quits to head up another show...but that's just a guess. HA.

I know with a finale like The Office there will be a lot of differing opinions. Let me know what you thought of the episode.

OUT!

More Finales (With Spoilers)

House: This show went out with a great episode, but not really a cliffhanger. I mean we are still in lingo over Foreman, but no one thinks that he is leaving the show and I suspect we will see this storyline tied up early next season. The medical mystery was one of my favorites of the season.

Desperate Housewives: Easily the most shocking closing for any show so far...I suspect that will change this Wednesday night, but for now...it was great. Edie is one of my least favorite characters, but always one of the most entertaining story lines. I loved the Susan and Mike wedding. I loved the Bree return and the twist with the baby, but this isn't the 50's and I don't get the need to hide Danielle's pregnancy. I hope Felicity Huffman gets to show her acting chops next season with the cancer fight. And Gaby and Carlos together again is GREAT news for this show. A fun, drama filled hour.

Grey's Anatomy: Lots of lingering questions. What's up with George. I assume he repeats the program and be the link to keep Meredith's sister and the new interns in the mix of the main story. Is Burke gone? I doubt it...but he should be. This is the perfect place to have him end his run on the show. Yang is now free and they should move on. Bailey was totally dissed and she better get her due credit when the show comes back. I am loving that Callie is the new Chief Resident, but I hate that it came at Bailey's expense.

Can't wait to see Heroes tonight. More finale reviews to come!

OUT!

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall and Lilly are probably not going to live happily ever after...where there is no situation, there is no comedy. But, with Marshall and Lilly having the opportunity to reconsile this season and end with the exchanging of vows, I think the show is at its best with that couple are at their best.
The twist ending was above average too for a sitcom. Usually on a half hour show someone finds out that they are pregnant or someone has a heart attack or someone breaks up...So, why was Ted and Robin's break-up so different...because there were subtle, but unassuming signs all season that this would happen...and that it happened cleanly and quietly makes it that much more amazing.
The show wasn't incredibly funny, minus Barney's paranoia that his life as he knew it was over, but it was sweet and sincere and that's where this show tends to get its best mileage.

I hope next season we get to see more of Ted and Barney on the town. And I hope that we get to see some of the funny side of marriage from M & L. The married couple sitcom is old and if anyone can bring something fresh to the table, it's HIMYM.

Finale Grade: B+

Two and a Half Men

Each year I like to grade each of the finales, rank them, and then sit back and anticipate the next season. So I am getting that started today with a brief review of the 2 1/2 Men finale.

Never in my life have a seen a sitcom finale be more forced, boring, or lame. Seriously, I would rather have watched a documentary on the bowel movements of migrating birds.

There was only one funny joke in the entire episode and even that was only sort-of funny. Viagra jokes, bathroom humor, and rancid "mom is satan" jokes filled the half hour. The show left no cliffhangers and left me with no desire to come back to the show next fall.
Undoubtedly I will come back, because the show is usually pretty funny. But I cannot imagine what Chuck was thinking when he penned this episode. I guess he was more worried about his new show being picked up than about his cash cow on the eye network.

So, long story short, this show will not be making the best finale of 2007 list. And if it had been a top 10 show for 2007 overall (which it wasn't) it would have been knocked clean off the list after that stinker.

Grade: F

Other finale reviews to come: How I Met Your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, The Office, My Name Is Earl, Lost, Veronica Mars, Heroes, CSI, The Shield, The Sopranos, and more...Stay Tuned.

OUT!

How To Be Cool

I wanted to give a shout out to Johanna real fast. Her new book How To Be Cool hits shelves on June 5th. You can order it on Amazon.com right now! It's only 15 bucks and the book is hard cover. I just started reading it and I love it. Also, Jo will be having a book signing on June 12 at 6 PM and would love for all of you to come.

Description: The national bestselling author of The Next Big Thing and Your Big Break presents her coolest novel yet. After shedding seventy pounds, Kylie found a new career transforming the socially inept from geek to chic. Her classes on How to Be Cool are Chicago's hottest ticket. But Kylie's still a dork at heart, and she'd die before she let her clients in on her overweight, nerdy past. Things start to unravel when Kylie's apartment burns down and she's forced to shack up with her parents. Making matters worse, there's a journalist shadowing her every move. The last thing Kylie needs is someone uncovering her dirty little secret... no matter how sexy he may be. Now, with her life spiraling out of control, the weight she fought so hard to lose is starting to creep back on. But with the help of her best friend Ruby, a confident plus-sized model, Kylie's starting to learn that appearances aren't everything-and that being the queen of cool isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Early Review:

Returning from Your Big Break and The Next Big Thing, Edwards tracks Chicago-based image consultant Kylie Chase. Having been an overweight outcast in high school, Kylie works to save others from her younger self's fate: she talks one client out of wearing a Star Wars costume on a first date and keeps another from starring in a porno. But Kylie's deep dark secret is that she still imagines herself as a high school pudgette, and when hunky journalist Ty Benedict is assigned to cover her career, Kylie has to face the real person behind the carefully constructed image. Lame affirmations ("You are exactly who you think you are") and corny one-liners are less than cool, but Edwards makes Kylie's voice immediate and winning as she puts her through her success-doubt-success paces. (June)

Lost...Is It Wednesday Yet?

How Lost got its groove back. Is it just me or does Lost really feel like Lost again? I would give every episode since the Jack tattoo episode at least a B and most would be an A. Last week's episode with Jacob would be the 2nd A+ with the other A+ being awarded to Desmond's kooky time-travel flashback.

Best moments from last night's Charlie-centric episode:

-Sayid getting up in Jack's face, tellin' him like it is.

-Alex hinting that she knows Ben might not be her father.

AND

-Last night, though, they got me. I was expecting one of three outcomes: 1)Desmond's vision comes true to the letter, with Charlie saving the day and dying; 2)Charlie dies in failure, because the show is just that bleak sometimes; 3)Charlie succeeds and yet somehow manages to make it back up in time. I sure as hell wasn't predicting that he'd be besieged by some underwater commandos. Are they Others/Hostiles? Dharma? Something else entirely? From Sepinwall.blogspot.com:

I couldn't have thought it better myself. This is right on track with where my mind was last night.

Other thoughts:

-Is Desmond telling Charlie the truth? Is Desmond going to be getting on that chopper and not Claire? Claire could just be Desmond's device to motivate Charlie into action.

-Was Bernard brought back to be killed off?

-Jin can shoot? I'm not surprised, but I have a strong suspicion we might be finding out more about that in the future.

- Nadia, Sayid's true love was the woman being robbed when Charlie saved the day.

-Was the day Desmond ran into Charlie singing Wonderwall the same day that he saved Nadia? Charlie was wearing different clothes, so I'm not sure...but I think it is significant. This might be a way to show us that the timelines are/have been disrupted.

Every semi-spoiler site that I visit swears that you MUST NOT read any spoilers for the finale. And every one of them says that reading a spoiler will spoil all the fun. So I am guessing this major twist is going to be bigger than just a major character or 3 dying. I mean what fun is death?

The biggest question of all though is this...Why did Jack make the entire gang trek out to the jungle to show the trees being blown up? Why the demonstration or did the show just need to waste a few special FX bucks? Is Jack still withholding some kind of secret? Does he know more than he is letting on? Why do I feel like he and Juliette are still playing everyone?

Your thoughts?

OUT!

The Oldest Debate In The World

Ok, so it really might not be the oldest debate in the world, but it has to be close. Who's the hottest girl in the world? Well Maxim just released their Top 100 for 2007. I for one am shocked at several things...

For starters, Lindsey Lohan ranked at number one. Really? Also making the top 10 were Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. Don't get me wrong, both are amazing. But Johannson has that classic beauty look, not that hot, sexy look that you expect from a Maxim list. And Jessica Biel is easily in the top 20, but she beat out Elisha Cuthbert, Beyonce, and Eva Longoria.

Here is the top 14

1. Lindsey Lohan

2. Jessica Alba

3. Scarlett Johansson

4. Christina Aguilera

5. Jessica Biel

6. Ali Larter

7. Eva Mendes

8. Rihanna

9. Eva Longoria

10. Fergie

11. Sienna Miller

12. Angelina Jolie

13. Beyonce Knowles

14. Katherine Heigl

Other notes:

-Jessica Simpson ranked 41 while her sister Ashley was 16...WHAT?

-Avril Lavigne made the top 15, which is awesome, I totally agree. But I didn't expect it.

-Number 100 was Noureen Dewulf. If you aren't familiar with her she can be seen in Ocean's 13 this summer.

-Ashley Olsen made the list at number 37, but her sister was excluded.

NBC Schedule

I posted this yesterday, but it didn't take...so here is the NBC schedule and a few descriptions of the better sounding new shows. The best news is we will get 30 episodes of The Office including 5 hour long episodes...and we will have 25 episodes of Earl.

NBC PRIME-TIME SCHEDULE FOR FALL 2007-08

*New programs in CAPS (with the exception of "ER")

MONDAY
8-9 pm Deal or No Deal
9-10 pm Heroes
10-11 pm JOURNEYMAN

TUESDAY
8-9 pm The Biggest Loser
9-10 pm CHUCK
10-11 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

WEDNESDAY
8-9 pm Deal or No Deal
9-10 pm BIONIC WOMAN
10-11 pm LIFE

THURSDAY
8-8:30 pm My Name Is Earl
8:30-9 pm 30 Rock
9-9:30 pm The Office
9:30-10 pm Scrubs
10-11 pm ER

FRIDAY
8-9 pm 1 vs 100/THE SINGING BEE
9-10 pm Las Vegas
10-11 pm Friday Night Lights

SATURDAY
8-9 pm Dateline NBC
9-11 pm Drama Series Encores

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)
7-8 pm Football Night in America
8-11 pm NBC Sunday Night Football

SUNDAY (January 2008)
7-8 pm Dateline NBC
8-9 pm Law & Order
9-10 pm Medium
10-11 pm LIPSTICK JUNGLE

JOURNEYMAN — From Emmy Award-winning writer-producer Kevin Falls (The West Wing) and Emmy Award-winning director-producer Alex Graves (The West Wing), Journeyman is a romantic mystery-drama about Dan Vasser (Kevin McKidd, Rome), a San Francisco newspaper reporter and family man who inexplicably begins to travel through time and change people's lives. Along the way, he also must deal with the difficulties and strife at work and home brought on by his sudden disappearances. However, his freewheeling travels through the decades reunite him with his long-lost fiancé Livia (Moon Bloodgood, Day Break), which complicates his present-day life with wife Katie (Gretchen Egolf, Martial Law) and their son. Reed Diamond (Homicide: Life on the Street) and Charles Henry Wyson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) also star.

CHUCK — From executive producer Josh Schwartz (The O.C.) and executive producer-director McG (Charlie's Angels, We Are Marshall) comes a one-hour, comedic spy thriller about Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi, Less Than Perfect), a computer geek who is catapulted into a new career as the government's most vital secret agent. When Chuck opens an e-mail subliminally encoded with government secrets, he unwittingly downloads an entire server of sensitive data into his brain. Now the fate of the world lies in the unlikely hands of a guy who works at Buy More. Instead of fighting computer viruses, he must fight assassins and international terrorists. With the government's most precious secrets in Chuck's head, Major John Casey (Adam Baldwin, My Bodyguard) of the NSA assumes the responsibility of protecting him. His partner is the CIA's top agent (and Chuck's first date in years) Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strzechowski, Gone). They'll keep him safe by trading in his pocket protector for a bulletproof vest. Also starring are Joshua Gomez (Without a Trace) as Chuck's best buddy Morgan and Sarah Lancaster (What About Brian) as Chuck's ever-supportive sister Ellie.

BIONIC WOMAN — Struggling as a bartender and surrogate mom to her teenage sister, Jaime Sommers (Michelle Ryan, EastEnders) didn't think life could get much harder. But when a devastating car accident leaves her at death's door, Jaime's only hope for survival is a cutting-edge, top-secret technology that comes at a hefty price. With a whole new existence and a debt to repay, Jaime must figure out how to use her extraordinary abilities for good, while weighing the personal sacrifices she will have to make. Ultimately, it's Jaime's journey of self-discovery and inner strength that will help her embrace her new life as the Bionic Woman. Also starring are: Mae Whitman (State of Grace) as Becca, Jaime's younger sister; Miguel Ferrer (Crossing Jordan) as Jonas, the man who employs Jaime's boyfriend; Chris Bowers (Rescue Me) as Will, Jaime's boyfriend, who performs the operation; Will Yun Lee (Witchblade) as Jae, the specialized operations leader; and Molly Price (Third Watch), as Ruth, Jonas' second-in-command.

Sitcom:
THE IT CROWD — Ever wonder what's up with those quirky techies who come to fix the office computer when no one's around? The IT Crowd is an offbeat series, based on the critically acclaimed British comedy, that offers a humorous behind-the-scenes peek at the people who truly keep the office humming. Roy (Joel McHale, The Soup) and Moss (Richard Ayoade, The IT Crowd U.K.) are the misunderstood masters of their high-tech domain, but they lack the people skills to befriend anyone but each other. Their company's head is Denholm (Rocky Carroll, Chicago Hope), who wants the IT department to stay segregated and forever banished to the basement.

ABC Schedule

Wednesday nights just got even better on ABC on Wednesdays. Well, with Lost not returning until February there are two new shows to keep us entertained until then...

MONDAY:
8:00 pm Dancing with the Stars
9:30 pm Sam I Am (new comedy series)
10:00 pm The Bachelor

TUESDAY:
8:00 pm Cavemen (new comedy series)
8:30 pm Carpoolers (new comedy series)
9:00 pm Dancing with the Stars the Results Show
10:00 pm Boston Legal

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 pm Pushing Daisies (new drama series)
9:00 pm Private Practice (new drama series)
10:00 pm "Dirty Sexy Money (new drama series)

THURSDAY:
8:00 pm Ugly Betty
9:00 pm Grey’s Anatomy
10:00 pm Big Shots (new drama series)

FRIDAY:
8:00 pm Men in Trees
9:00 pm Women’s Murder Club (new drama series)
10:00 pm 20/20

SATURDAY:
8:00 pm Saturday Night College Football

SUNDAY:
7:00 pm America’s Funniest Home Videos
8:00 pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9:00 pm Desperate Housewives
10:00 pm Brothers & Sisters

Cashmere Mafia, Notes from the Underbelly and October Road will premiere after Dancing with the Stars and The Bachelor conclude their fall seasons.


The shows worth mentioning...for now...
Big Shots: This is the story of four friends at the top of their game... until the women in their lives enter the room. Lines between boardroom and bedroom blur when these competitive but dysfunctional CEOs take refuge in their friendship, discussing business, confiding secrets, seeking advice and supporting each other through life’s surprising twists and turns. Starring: Michael Vartan (Alias), Dylan McDermott (The Practice), Christopher Titus (Titus), Joshua Malina (The West Wing), Nia Long (Premonition), Paige Turco (Party of Five), Peyton List (Day Break), Wendy Moniz (Nash Bridges), Jessica Collins (The Nine), Amy Sloan (The Heartbreak Kid): Wendy

Dirty Sexy Money: Some people say money is the root of all evil. They may be right. Nick George’s whole life has been lived in the shadow of the Darling family, but as an adult he’s leading the perfect life as an idealistic lawyer, until his father’s suspicious death. The absurdly wealthy Darlings of New York have asked him to take over his father’s job as their personal lawyer, but the money that will allow him the freedom to be an altruistic do-gooder is only part of the picture. That same money pulls him into the dubious doings of the Darling clan. Power, privilege and family money are a volatile cocktail. Starring: Peter Krause (Six Feet Under),
Donald Sutherland (Commander in Chief), William Baldwin (The Squid and the Whale), Natalie Zea (Eyes), Glenn Fitzgerald (Six Feet Under),
Samaire Armstrong (The O.C.), Seth Gabel (The Da Vinci Code), Zoe McLennan (JAG), Laz Alonso (Stomp the Yard), Jill Clayburgh (Running with Scissors)

Eli Stone: Many lawyers consider themselves prophets, but Eli Stone may be the real deal. Eli has built a successful career at a top law firm in San Francisco representing only the biggest and richest corporations that make a habit of screwing over the little guy. But after experiencing a series of odd hallucinations, Eli seeks to find a deeper meaning to life while trying not to lose his job and destroy his relationship with the bosses’ daughter. When Eli discovers an aneurysm in his brain, he wonders if his condition is truly medical or if perhaps he now has a higher calling. Starring: Jonny Lee Miller (Melinda and Melinda),Victor Garber (Alias), Natasha Henstridge (Commander in Chief), Loretta Devine (Crash), Sam Jaeger (Catch and Release), Laura Benanti (Take the Lead), James Saito (I Think I Love My Wife)

Private Practice: From Shonda Rhimes, the Golden Globe-winning creator of Grey’s Anatomy, comes a story about new beginnings and old friends. Addison Forbes Montgomery is a renowned neonatal surgeon, respected by her friends and colleagues at Seattle Grace Hospital. Deciding she can no longer healthily co-exist with her ex-husband, McDreamy, and her ex-lover, McSteamy, Addison heads to Los Angeles for sunnier weather and happier possibilities. Reunited with her once-married, newly divorced medical school friends, Naomi and Sam, Addison joins their chic private practice. Starring: Kate Walsh (Grey’s Anatomy),
Tim Daly (The Nine), Taye Diggs (Day Break), Paul Adelstein (Prison Break), Merrin Dungey (The King of Queens). Chris Lowell (Veronica Mars), Amy Brenneman (Judging Amy)

Pushing Daisies: From Bryan Fuller (Heroes) and Barry Sonnenfeld (Men in Black) comes an unprecedented blend of romance, crime procedural and high-concept fantasy in a forensic fairytale about a young man with a very special gift. Once upon a time, a mild-mannered boy named Ned realized he could touch dead things and bring them back to life. Grown-up Ned puts his ability to good use, not only touching dead fruit and making it ripe with everlasting flavor, but working with an investigator to crack murder cases by asking the deceased to name their killers. But the tale gets complicated, as all tales do, when Ned brings his childhood sweetheart, Chuck, back from the dead and keeps her alive. Chuck encourages him to use his power to help others, instead of merely solving mysteries and collecting the rewards. Life would be perfect for Ned and Chuck, except for one cruel twist: If he ever touches her again, she’ll go back to being dead, this time for good. Starring: Lee Pace (The Good Shepherd), Anna Friel (Rogue Trader), Chi McBride (Boston Public), Swoosie Kurtz (Sisters), Kristin Chenoweth (The West Wing), Jim Dale (reader of the Harry Potter series audio books)

Sitcom worth mentioning:

Sam I Am: When a terrible accident leaves Samantha Sam Newly in a coma for eight days, she wakes up with no recollection of any past experiences, memories or events. Faced with amnesia, Sam must start over. To her dismay she discovers that she wasn’t a particularly honest, good-hearted or loving person. In fact she was self-involved, narcissistic and devoid of real relationships — essentially a bitch. Sam must now struggle with her desire to be good and her temptation to be...not so good. Finding the line between good and evil is never easy. Starring: Christina Applegate (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy), Jennifer Esposito (Related), Kevin Dunn (Prison Break), Melissa McCarthy (Gilmore Girls), Tim Russ (Without a Trace), Jean Smart (24)

TV Upfronts

The TV Upfronts began yesterday. Those of you that care as much as I do have probably already heard the latest from NYC as the networks unveil their line-ups for 2007. NBC went first with a Monday reveal.
There were no big shockers. Friday Night Lights did get picked back up for a second season, but it will be buried on Friday nights. A sure death sentence for a critically acclaimed, audience deprived program.
Medium will move to Sunday nights.
And Heroes will be paired up with a "buzz-worthy" show called Journeyman.
About Journeyman: Rome's Kevin McKidd (swoon) travels back in time to right his past wrongs.

The early screen test audiences have rated it very highly!

ABC announces today. The biggest news so far is that ABC has green lit 11 new shows. It did renew October Road, but has canceled What About Brian.

Here is a rundown from Eonline about the brand new shows. As soon as the official schedule is released I will post it here. The biggest mysteries include when Private Practice will air and to see if they will announce when and at what time Lost will return.

• Pushing Daisies: The aforementioned magical detective series with Lee Pace (Wonderfalls) as a man who can bring back the dead with a single touch--and the woman he loves but can never touch.
• Private Practice: You know what, starring you know who.
• Dirty, Sexy Money: Peter Krause stars as a lawyer for the most obnoxiously rich and famous family around. I loooooooooooved this pilot!
• Eli Stone: Greg Berlanti (producer of Everwood, Brothers & Sisters) continues his good-TV streak with this drama about a lawyer who learns he could be a prophet.
• Women's Murder Club, about a group of novice crime solvers.
• Cashmere Mafia, Lucy Liu stars in this business-world drama from Darren Star.
• Big Shots, a sudsy drama about high-powered men including Michael Vartan and Dylan McDermott. (Likely for midseason)
  
• Carpoolers: A comedy of four guys who commute to work each day.
• Cavemen: You've seen the Geico commercials, right? Well, they're living in Atlanta.
• Sam I Am: Christina Applegate wakes up from amnesia to learn she was an awful person.
• Miss/Guided: Judy Greer returns to her high school to be a guidance counselor.

Lazy Eye

Movie News for those of you that care!!!

-Mike Myers is in the process of writing Austin Powers 4. This movie will be entirely from Dr. Evil's point of view. Should be just as hilarious as the others. Glad to see this franchise live on.

-The Incredible Hulk will be released on June 8, 2008. Edward Norton will be The Hulk with Tim Roth signing on to play Abomination. The movie will be much lighter, much more comic-bookie, and will feature much heavier special effects. Plot Point: Emil Bronsky is one of Hulk's greatest rivals. He exposes himself to the same gamma rays that caused Bruce Banner to become Hulk, but because he uses a higher dose he is stronger and faster than Hulk. The only downside; he can't revert back to human form and he blames Banner for it.

-George Lucas, who had the balls to call Spider-Man 3 "silly," claims that he will make two more live action Star Wars movies. None of the Skywalker clan will be in the movies and he expects them to be made for tv. (Now who's being silly?)

-Robert Rodriguez of Grindhouse fame is deciding on his latest project. It will either be a live-action version of The Jetsons or it will be a Land Of The Lost starring Will Ferrell. I would go with The Jetsons, but that's just me.

-FX will pay upwards of 33 million dollars for Spider-Man 3. They will air it initially in 2009. When they aired Spider-Man 2 back in April the network scored one million viewers.

OUT!

Folsom Prison Blues

I am the first one to say that our prison systems are out of whack. I will argue that we put too many innocent people behind bars and that we are way too lenient on those that are guilty. But, the following article describes a scene that is repulsive, disgusting, and inhumane. I don't even let my dog drink from the toilet, much less lick the actual toilet. These guards should be punished by having to perform the same acts that they are accused of having the inmates do.

From CNN

Prosecutors issued arrest warrants Tuesday for eight former prison employees accused of abusing inmates, including forcing some to clean toilets with their tongues.
The eight were among 13 prison employees who had already been fired from the 605-inmate medium and minimum security at the Hendry Correctional Institution in the Everglades.
The previous warden and an assistant warden resigned, and three others were reassigned after an inmate was beaten and choked by guards in March.
State prisons chief Jim McDonough said the warrants include charges of battery and failing to report inmate abuse against former guards William Thiessen, Phillip Barger and Randy Hazen, Gabriel Cotilla, Kevin Filipowicz, Ruben Ibarra and Stephen Whitney. Fired guard James Brown was charged with grand theft.
Some inmates were given choices of eating their food off the floor or providing sexual favors to guards, McDonough said.
"We had cases where inmates were compelled under threat of force to clean a commode with their tongues," McDonough said. "These were improper, illegal heinous and despicable acts and it was done apparently in an organized and conspiratorial fashion."

The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love

MOVIE REVIEW

I am going to do this review of Spider-Man 3 just a bit differently than normal. Rather than go into a long rant about this or about that I am going to list the things I liked. Then I am going to list the things that I didn't like. And lastly I am going to add a few bonus observations. And lastly I will give it a grade. So buckle up, because here we go!

DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE A FEW SPOILERS BELOW!!!

Things I liked:

1. The chemistry between James Franco and Kirsten Dunst

2. Every scene with J.K. Simmons (J. Jonah Jameson)

3. The Special FX (especially The Sandman)

4. Venom (Once he had taken over Eddie Brock)

5. When Peter Parker suddenly had a little hop in his step and went for a stroll through Manhattan

6. The comedic moments in the movie including the proposal scene

7. Seeing a darker side of Peter

8. Bryce Dallas Howard (as Gwen Stacy)

9. The fact that the trilogy comes full circle by the end

Things I disliked:

1. Kirsten Dunst's singing

2. The slow beginning. We didn't even see Spider-man the first 30 minutes of the movie

3. The incredibly boring scenes with Peter's Aunt

4. The horribly cheesy dialogue at times (most was good, but some was THAT bad!)

5. The lack of chemistry between Tobey and Kirsten

6. That Spidey was out of costume more than in

7. The shaky camera work on many street-level scenes (especially when Sandman hides in the truck)

8. Peter's hair when he is the dark version of himself. Jason said Spidey had gone all emo and looked like he belonged in Good Charlotte. I tend to agree with him.

Observations:

- James Franco soooooo should have been cast as Peter Parker. He can pull of nerdy, but maybe not as well as Tobey. But his on-screen checmistry with Kirsten Dunst is bullet proof. Especially that kitchen scene where they do the twist.

- Tobey Maguire finally got to show a little range with the "darker side" of Peter. it was nice to see. Especially the scene on the pay phone with the neighbor girl.

- Topher Grace was fine as Venom. Not quite as amazing as I had hoped, but he was still pretty convincing to the average fan.

-They should stop the series here for a while. It was a nice wrap-up. But they won't. They have signed 3 more movies, but possibly without the same cast, director, or writers. I smell a slide in quality.

- Thomas Hayden Church was the perfect person to play The Sandman. Honestly they could have had Goblin and Him and saved Venom for next time and it would have been fine.

-The experience was great. I was entertained. The effects were top notch. It was a real movie event. I thought the bad guys in 3 were better than the first 2. I thought that the plot was good, but slightly re-heated from the first two. I think the sappy scenes could have been cut in half. But I think the franchise is strong as it moves forward even though this would be a natural stopping point.

Movie Grade: B

Trip Along

It's never ever too early to start talking about NEXT tv season. With the network upfronts coming next week I have been hearing a ton of buzz about a brand new show on ABC. According to some it is the best pilot that they have ever seen. (I find that hard to believe, did they not watch the Lost pilot?) Either way, here is a quick run down of this little show that seems to be making BIG noise.

PUSHING DAISIES

This romantic drama shows us the strange world of a man, Ned, who can bring dead people back to life through the power of his touch. The people he touches, however, can only stay alive for one minute, and if they don't die again, someone else nearby will die.

Ned decides to use his ability to solve crime. He and a local investigator, Emerson, bring murder victims back to life and find out who killed them, to cash in on case-solving rewards. But, when Ned brings an old crush back to life, and decides to let her live, things start to get complicated...

The show is created by Bryan Fuller, who has brought us sci-fi series such as Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me. The series is said to share some aspects of Fuller's previous shows, with quick witted comedy mixed with darker emotions and drama. The main plot about life and death is also akin to Dead Like Me.The show is still in pre-production, and will, if it is picked up, air on ABC. Lee Pace will star as Ned and Chi McBride as his colleague Emerson. Anna Friel will star as Charlotte "Chuck" Charles, Kristin Chenoweth as Olive, Swoosie Kurtz as Lily and Ellen Green as a, so far, unnamed character. The cast will be joined by Jim Dale as the narrator. Lee Pace has previously worked with creator Bryan Fuller on Wonderfalls.

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

So I got such a wide range of responses and emails from my last post about current guilty pleasures that I thought I would drop another list of them. So this week's guilty pleasures are:

5. Maroon 5's "Makes Me Wonder" (Who knew Adam Levine could do more than Mac on chics)
4. Orbitz Mint Mojito Gum (Less than 3 calories, this is almost a guiltless pleasure)
3. Robot Chicken (Seth Green is finally getting to show us his funny side)
2. The 4400 (Finally returning next month!!!)
1. Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" (See, girls know they can be crazy psycho bitches)


Don't forget to watch The Shield tonight. Frank Darabont (Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile) is directing!

The Bird and The Worm

Seems that this little dude had an earache. So he went to the doctor. And they discovered two spiders in his ear. It seems like maybe some of those urban legends might be true. I do know someone who got a sore in their mouth and thinking it was a blister or something puss-filled popped it...only to find it filled with a sunflower seed that had actually begun to sprout.

OUT!

If The Brakeman Turns My Way

Last night was the big "spin-off" episode of Grey's Anatomy. While I feel that it is still too early to be shaking up the cast and spinning off characters I went into last night's 2 hour event with a very open mind. I was willing to give the new show, new characters, and new soapy stories a chance. And amazingly, I wasn't disappointed at all. It was actually kinda good.

First, the set-up. I loved it. The show is tentatively titled Private Practice. So a wellness center makes the perfect setting for tons of drama and plenty of misconduct. I like the idea of a one-stop shop for all of your sexual, reproductive, psychological, and new age healing needs. It really felt like a place that I would go if I needed help in any of these areas. Plus, being in L.A. will allow the introduction of a few "stars" who come in needing some help.

Next the cast: Wow. What an amazing group of people assembled for the show. Merrin Dungey as Naomi was the perfecting casting coup. She is probably the least known of the main characters, having spent some time on Alias as Sydney Bristow's best friend and later being reduced to a cheap laugh on The King of Queens. But, she has acting chops, she's incredibly likable, and good lookin' to boot.

Taye Diggs character is a little more mysterious and I think there may be more to him than meets the eye. I can see some funny stuff coming up between him and some obsessed Dr. Feelgood fans. Diggs seems to be a good fit so far.

Tim Daly is always great and hopefully this show sticks around long enough for us to see him spread his wings. His chemistry with Addison was spot on and certainly will hold the center of focus for at least the first half of the show's rookie season.

Paul Addelstein, who is from Prison Break, played Cooper. Cooper was probably the only character I didn't immediately like. He grew on my by the end, but really, do we need another Mark Sloane (McSteamy).

Amy Brenneman is the entire reason I was excited about the spin-off. Judge Amy Gray has become a shrink with a few head problems of her own. She doubts her profession, she has a sucky love life, and she can't fight off her own tears. Thank God she is about to be back on TV regularly.

And lastly, you can't forget Chris Lowell who plays Dell. Best known as the lovable Pizz from Veronica Mars, this front-desk surfer boy is going to bring the funny. I couldn't quite pin-point why the ladies were so excited that it was 5 minutes until 1. Then I saw the reason and knew that every chic watching was going to be hooked from that point on. The Naomi/Dell match-up is a bit of an odd romance...a cat and mouse game if you will...but on some level the Mrs. Robinson angle works and I for one want to see Dell score.

The story lines were interesting, but not nearly as gripping as the ones back in Seattle. I did love seeing David Anders playing a possible father in the "baby's daddy triangle." For those of you not familiar with David Anders, he played Sark on Alias. I'm sure Merrin Dungey hooked him up with the gig. Too bad he won't be back. Of course, it wasn't the same without the faux Brit accent. I am hoping that the medical mysteries were a bit light so that we could spend plenty of time getting to know the characters. Hopefully they will become as engaging at the ones on Grey's.

Overall the show worked on many levels. The fact that it has a built in fan base is a big advantage. The key to the success of Private Practice is going to be creating story lines that the audience can invest in. Just like Izzy with Denny, George with Merideth, and Addison with McDreamy and McSteamy, we have to care about what happens to these characters. I for one have faith that Shonda Rhimes knows what she is doing and that having two babies to raise won't make both of them weaker than they could be.

I also hope that they eventually introduce a character like Dr. Bailey who has some sass and fire. The show seemed to lack some zing without that Grey's Anatomy trademark.

What did you guys think of the show? Will you watch it?

OUT!

You're Pretty Good Lookin' For A Girl

Bad To The Bone

Check out the trailer for this new Sony Pictures movie coming out in August. It looks hilarious. It's called Super Bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNpoTxeydiY

OUT!

Riot Coming (Another List Event)

Time for more lists...But first, I have brought back a trend that I once used heavily...my blog titles will all once again be song titles. Riot Coming is a song title from the new Elliot Smith album New Moon. Sometimes the song titles will match up perfectly with the blog subject and other times they will have nothing to do with one another.

Now, on to THE LISTS

5 Most Anticipated Season Finales:
5. The Sopranos
4. The Shield
3. Smallville
2. Grey's Anatomy
1. Lost

5 Favorite Lost Characters
5. Desmond
4. Locke
3. Juliette
2. Sawyer
1. Sayid

How is that different from the end of season 2?
5. Sayid
4. Jack
3. Sawyer
2. Ben
1. Locke

Foreign Places I Want To Visit NOW
5. Egypt
4. Spain
3. Rome
2. Dubai
1. Prague

The Best Chance To Win The NBA Title
5. Chicago
4. Dallas
3. Phoenix
2. San Antonio
1. Detroit

This Aint A Scene It's An Arms Race

Boxing, Boxing, Boxing. What a sport. It's the only sport that flaunts its crookedness in front of the fans, but the fans still line up to see it because at any moment a train wreck could occur. And with that I present the Oscar De La Hoya/Floyd Mayweather business agreement. De La Hoya has long passed his prime. He's moved on to bigger, more lucrative things. Like owning his own promotion company with several other elite fighters. The only thing that could make him more money...a marquee fight with the best pound for pound fighter in the business. De La Hoya doesn't stand a chance...but his pockets will swell nonetheless. Fight fans forget the Oscar cares more about the bucks than the bang these days and they too easily recall the speedy, thunder fisted golden boy of yesteryear. This blindness to reality will likely make this this biggest pay-per-view boxing event in history. Let's get ready to rumble!

Simply put...My prediction is simple.

Mayweather in the 9th round by TKO.